Continuum?

I have discovered I have trouble continuing stories, character studies, etc. I can start them perfectly fine and sometimes even get a whole page or two solid paragraphs. But then I leave it no ending attached. I am not sure if this is due to me not wanting to ruin what I started in fear of the continuum not the doing the beginning justice or if I’m just lazy. I have a feeling it much more the former than the latter. I just don’t want to risk messing up something I am fond of. Insightful Thought: If I looked at life like I look at my writing I would get no where. Getting no where meant both in a literal and mental way. If I was fond of how I felt when I woke up in the morning and I decided to stay in my bed all day to preserve my good mood I would end up not go to school, going to work, etc. I would be one absurd being; the concept makes me laugh. The concept also makes me think about extreme cases of OCD; for I know there are those out there who are cursed with such strong fear(s) that they don’t leave the environment are they accustomed to. They enjoy the feeling of being comfortable, but who doesn’t? Everyone wants to be comfortable in who they are, what they are and where they are. People with OCD just want to preserve the feeling of being comfortable. Insightful Thought: OCD is all about comfort. I guess I knew that but never really knew it. I wash my hands because it makes me feel better, makes me feel comfortable. But sometimes I think I just wash my hands because it’s so automatic for me. I know I could probably wait to wash but I don’t because it wouldn’t feel right. I assume it’s a good thing that I am aware of how irrational my fear is. When I had trouble starting and finishing my school work my mom used to tell me: Doing something will feel more right than doing nothing. That is 100% true. Even though I 100% agree with that wisdom it only kick started me a few times. When I had trouble doing my work I bluntly told my teachers, parents and shrink it was because I was/am lazy. I was convinced my apathy was the reason but all of them disagreed.

I titled this blog continuum for I started writing said blog with intent of expressing how I do not like that I can start stories or whatever but never continue them. People read what I write and say they want to know more but guess what? I don’t know what to add! Conundrum. Thought: I like that word. Conundrum. Perhaps I want to preserve my writing? Just like the preservation of the feeling of comfort? I act as though my writing is fine wine or some treasured fermented liquid.